What You Left Behind
by Deans Bad Ass Sexy Hunter
Summary: Dean went to see Emily before saying yes to Michael. His first and only love. Will he be able to walk away from her one last time? Rated M for sexual content
1. Chapter 1

**What if Dean went to someone else instead of Lisa the night he decided to say yes to Michael? What does he leave behind and will he ever come back?**

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Emily was putting the glasses away when she heard the door open and close, "Sorry just closed."

"Hey Emily," said a voice behind her. She turned around knowing that voice all too well and dropped the two glasses in her hand.

"Dean...what, what are you doing here?" She walked around the bar and towards him.

"I know it's late but..." Before he could finish she punched him in the jaw. "Damn it Emily!"

She grabbed him and pulled him to her crashing her lips onto his. "Where've you been, Dean?" She ran her fingertips lightly against his stubble cheek as tears formed in her eyes. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it as he tangled his fingers with hers. He smiled at how perfect their hands always fit together.

"I couldn't come back," he said tears also forming in her eyes. "I had to keep you safe."

She looked up at him confused. "From who?"

"No one you have to worry about now. Listen, Em, I'm..." He looked away from her. "Things are going to get bad." He looked back at her. "You'll be protected but promise me you'll stay right here. No matter what you see on TV or hear on the radio you stay put right here."

"You're really scaring me."

"Promise me."

She nodded. "I promise."

He pulled her closer to him, his one hand still holding hers and the other running through her hair. He took in her scent and leaned towards her ear.

"Just remember you've always been number one in my heart. And I can only see myself being with you and being happy. Growing old together and living the most normal life I've always wanted for us. You're always on my mind and always be in my heart."

Tears ran down Emily's face as he let go of her and she realized he was leaving. She grabbed his jacket and walked in front of him. "You're just going to leave like that? You can't drop a bombshell like that and leave especially since you've been gone...jeez almost three years!"

"I did that to protect you."

"Protect me from what?"

He shook his head. "I don't want that life for you."

"When will you be back?"

He looked into her eyes and she knew he won't be coming back. She looked away her heart breaking. She held herself in her arms. "I'll send my brother to watch you. To make sure you stay safe." She clenched her teeth together shaking her head. "I got to go."

She stopped him again by putting her hands on his arms, "Please don't do this. Do this for me and stay the night. Hold me like you use to do when you stopped by."

Dean shook his head. "I can't."

She looked into his eyes begging him to stay, just for one night.

He touched her cheek with the back of his hand. She closed her eyes savoring his lightest touch. She felt his lips touch hers gently then pull away.

She opened her eyes and his beautiful green ones were staring back. "Please," she whispered. She just needed to hold him one last time before he left for good.

Dean knew he should leave but he could never resist her please and her beautiful eyes always pulled him in and made him say yes to anything.

His hand rested on her cheek, his thumb playing with her bottom lip as his fingers got tangled in her hair. He moved his thumb as his lips touched hers so soft and tender. Emily moved as close as she could to him. His free arm wrapped around her holding her close to him. She ran her hands up his chest and around his neck.

Dean let go of her lips and put his forehead against hers. "I feel if I do this I won't be able to leave," he said out of breath and low. He looked up into her eyes and knew he wouldn't be able to leave her again but he just had to. He had to save her; he couldn't be selfish it wasn't fair to her or the world.

He took both her hands in his tangling his fingers with hers, palm to palm as he looked at them trying to remember every little piece of her. "You still live upstairs?" He looked up at her and she nodded biting her bottom lip.

He let go of her one hand and they walked towards the back of the car. She opened the door and they walked up the steps. She opened the other door and they were in her small apartment. She put her keys on the table by the door and Dean wrapped his arms around her. She closed her eyes trying not to cry at this moment because it was the last she would ever see Dean.

He started to leave small kisses on her neck, on each side then turned her around his lips connecting with hers with such passion she moaned. She ran her hands through his short spiked hair as he took his jacket off letting it drop on the floor.

He picked her up; she wrapped her legs around his waist. He didn't even make it to the bedroom he dropped them on the sofa and he took his shirt off as she took hers off. He took her left leg wrapping it around his waist as he grinded into her. She bit her lip moaning before his lips were back on hers. His tongue dueling with hers as their hands traced each other's body, the feel of their skin. Whenever they were about to make love before their skin always seemed to be on fire for each other.

Not thinking the two rolled off the couch and laughed a little. Emily was now on top of him. Both his hands cupped the back of her head as he brought her down to his lips in a hot wet kiss. She kissed her way down his neck, kissing and biting areas. His hands roamed her body loving how soft she was.

She kissed down his chest and abs to the bottom of his jeans. She looked up at him before nibbling then pulling at his navel sending an electric shock of pleasure through him. He groaned his hands now in her hair tangling it all up. She worked on his jeans and pulled them off him.

She crawled back on top of his kissing his lips right before her hand snuck its way into his boxers. She teased the tip with her thumb at first and then stroked him. Dean's breathing quickened with the pace as she sat up still stroking him. He licked his dry lips his eyes closing.

"Damn, Em," he breathed opening his eyes locking with hers. The look in her eye made him sit up and wrap his arms around her kissing her deeply. He moved his hips off the ground as he kissed and sucked on her neck.

He took her hand out of his boxers when he could feel his climax approaching. He wanted to cum but he wanted to cum inside her marking her as his before he was an angel's meat suit.

"You're wearing far too much clothing," he said in a lustful tone.

She shivered at it biting her bottom lip. His hands moved to the bottom of her jeans unbuttoning them and zippering them down. He moved them over her hips just enough access for his hand to go in and tease her.

His fingers brushed over her underwear teasing her clit and now hot wet entrance. "Damn, you're wet." He kissed her lips. "But I can get you even wetter," he whispered huskily against her lips before biting her bottom one and pulling gently on it.

She felt him move her underwear aside and place two fingers inside her. He let out a small moan as his fingers entered her. She moved her hips against his hand as he thrusted them in and out of her. Her hand was on the back of his head as they kissed. He could feel that she was close and wanted her to cum.

"You close baby?" She nodded with a small whimper and he smiled as he let his fingers go deeper. She let out a deep heavy breath as he twisted his fingers hitting the right spot. The hand on the back of his head dug its nails deep into him as she came.

He took his hand out of her jeans grabbed her wrapping her legs around his waist and took them over to her bedroom. He laid her down as he pulled her jeans off. She took her bra off and he pulled her underwear down along with his.

He climbed on top of her and they stared into each other's eyes. She bit her lip as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. "I want you to remember me," he said low. Their faces inches apart from each other. He nuzzled his nose against hers. "Remember how much I loved you, wanted you, needed you." He kissed her cheeks his hands running through her hair. Their eyes locked again. "I love you Em."

She put her hands on his. "I love you." She closed her eyes as a tear snuck its way out of her eye.

She felt Dean's lips on hers as he entered her. She gasped at the feeling and rocked her hips against his. His hands ran between them cupping her breast she tilted her head back and moaned.

Their breathing became heavier; their bodies came together as one for the last time. They held onto each other as Dean pounded into her trying to hold on as long as he could.

"Dean," she moaned, "I'm close."

He kissed her lips holding her to him as he went with a quicker pace knowing he was gonna cum too.

"Shit, Em," he said lifting his head and putting it in the crook of her neck.

She moaned loudly as her orgasm ripped through her body her nails digging into him. Dean bit her shoulder his hand pulling at her hair as he groaned against her skin his orgasm lasting as long as hers.

They laid there together for a few minutes his hand caressing her body. He didn't want to get up; he wanted to lay there holding her forever. But that was just a dreamland. He had to go but he would wait until she was asleep.

He rolled off her careful not to hurt her. He pulled the blankets up and pulled her close to him. Her back against his chest. She held onto his hand for dear life. She didn't want to let go. She didn't even want to sleep because she knew he would be gone when she opened her eyes.

"I love you Dean," she whispered as she closed her eyes telling herself to let him go.

"I love you and always will," he whispered in her ear before kissing her softly on the cheek.

The next day Emily knew she would never see him again. She carried around this tiny hope inside her wishing and praying that he will be back somehow, someway and tell her everything he's been hiding from her why he was always trying to protect her. Why did he choose her?

She loved and lost Dean Winchester but she would always have him in her heart. He was after all her first love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two Months Later**

Emily was washing the dishes in her kitchen. She looked out the window and smiled at the neighborhood children that were playing across the street. She looked down at her stomach and smiled knowing her baby would be playing in the same streets, same kids. She just wanted her baby healthy and happy, after all the baby was part of her and Dean.

Things changed quickly for Emily when she found out she was pregnant. She decided to move out from her apartment above the bar and to a safer home. She quit her job at the bar and started working at the public library. It paid little but it got her by with bills, mortgage, food and her doctor appointments.

Even though Dean was gone Emily was happy because he had left part of him with her. She would look at her baby and know Dean would be proud of their child just as much as she would be.

Emily put the last plate away and headed upstairs for bed. She grabbed a tank top and boxers. She smiled when she saw the small baby bump on underneath her tank top. She brushed her hair and walked over to her bed. She pulled the blankets back and got in. She turned on her back and looked up at the ceiling. Some nights she wished Dean was there. She turned her head looking at the empty spot next to her. She knew he would just hold her through the night.

Emily woke up to her doorbell ringing. She groaned looking over at her clock on the nightstand and groaned even louder seeing that it was two in the morning.

"Who is ringing my doorbell at some un-Godly hour?"

She rolled out of bed and half slept walk towards the stairs. She ran her hand over her face as the doorbell rung again. "I'm coming! I'm coming!"

She unlocked the door and yawned. She opened it up and opened her eyes to see Dean standing there. He was drenched from the rain and his eyes they were red and puffy.

"Dean…what are you doing here? How did you-" She noticed the look on his face, there was something wrong. "What happened?" He didn't say anything just looked away and she felt her heart break from the pained look on his face. She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He didn't hesitate to wrap his around her waist and she felt him shaking, either from the cold or because he was breaking down.

"I'm here, I'm here," Emily kept repeating to him. "Let's get you warmed up. Want some coffee?"

She felt his head nod and she let go her clothes a little wet from him but she didn't care, she needed to know what brought him back after two months when he said he would never be back and what caused this break down.

She grabbed his hand and led him into the house closing the door. "Take off your jacket and go sit in the living room. I'll make you some coffee." He nodded looking around her house.

Dean took off his jacket and looked around the living room. It was homier then her last place. He looked at some of the pictures of her and her family on the wall. He sat down on the sofa placing his jacket on the coffee table and looked at the pictures on their but one is what caught his eye. There was an ultrasound picture right in the middle of them all.

He took it off the table and stared at it. He should have known. He told her he wouldn't be back; he should have known that she would move on without him. He put the picture down but continued to stare at it.

He wanted to get up and leave but she was all he had left now. He just needed someone to talk to then he'd leave and let her have her apple pie life.

Emily came back in with his coffee and that's when he noticed the smallest bump. He could tell because Emily use to have a perfect flat stomach that he loved running his hands over and kissing it.

She handed him the coffee and sat down next to him. She put her hand on his knee and their eyes locked. "What's the matter Dean?"

"I'm sorry I woke you and your boyfriend…"

"Boyfriend? What made you think I had a boyfriend?"

Dean looked at her confused and she looked towards the coffee table. "Oh, the ultrasound."

"Are you pregnant?"

She looked back at him and nodded. "Yeah but that's not important right now. The important thing is that something is wrong with you. You wouldn't have knocked on my door at two in the morning for nothing."

"Alright but we are going to talk about that," he pointed between her stomach and the ultrasound, "this I mean."

She smiled a little. "Still bossing me around?"

He wished he could smile he just looked down and put the coffee on the table. He sighed as he took her hands in his and looked up at her. "What I'm about to tell you is the reason why I would leave at a random time with you and why I didn't talk to you for those three years. Why I protected you and I was overprotective of you. Why I left telling you I wouldn't be back and why," he closed his eyes trying his best to fight the stinging of tears, "why Sam is dead."

Emily's eyes widened as he said the last thing. "Sam's dead? Oh my God baby." She wrapped her around his neck and he let her hold him. "I'm so sorry." She kissed his cheek.

She knew Sam. She met him around the same time that Dean had begun to act even more strange than usual around her but he just thought it was the whole big brother thing.

She let go of him and took his hands back in hers. "Tell me everything." She was ready for whatever he had to throw at her, as far as she knew.

Dean began to tell her about his family. He told her how his mother's side were hunters but when his mother, Mary, had met his father, John, she wanted to give up hunting and live a normal happy life with him. John didn't know about this hunting lifestyle and Mary didn't want him to know.

He told her how when he was four and Sammy was just a couple months old their mother was murdered by a demon named Azazel and had spilled blood into Sammy's mouth. At the time they didn't know who or what had killed their mother so their father had driven them cross country for years hunting anything they could and trying to find answers for their mothers death until Sammy had decided he had enough and went off to college.

He began to tell her how he had met her because of a case. Women were being targeted from the bar she had worked at but lucky her Dean and John had killed the werewolf. He explained to her how he didn't want to stop seeing her that he felt a connection for her that he never felt with anyone.

He told her two years after Sam had gone to college John went missing and that's around the same time Dean knew something was wrong and had to protect Emily in any way possible. That's why he would only see her a few times out of the month.

Then he began to tell her about Hell and selling his soul. He saw the fear and the tears in her eyes and he wiped them away. "Don't cry."

"But Dean you were in Hell, the Hell, you have been through so much."

"Story is not even over."

She looked into his eyes as he continued with his story how Castiel had pulled him out of Hell and how Sam got addicted to demon blood and was seduced by a demon named Ruby. They had to stop a demon named Lilith from breaking 66 seals. The end of those seals lets Lucifer out. Sam didn't know killing Lilith would let Lucifer out.

"And for the past year we have been dodging angels and Lucifer's pets," said Dean. His one hand was shaking and Emily took it in his. She ran her thumb over it in soothing circles. "We've died and gone to heaven. I saw you in heaven."

"How?"

He tried to give her the smallest smile possible but it came out as a small smirk. "Heaven plays your favorite memories for you. One of mine was from the first time I met you," he cupped her cheek, "and the first time I made love to you."

Dean felt that it was a bit awkward making love to her in heaven because it wasn't really her and who knew what perverted angels were watching.

"Then what happened?"

Dean let out a deep breath his hand dropping from her face. "We thought we had him."

"Who?"

"Lucifer. We thought that if Sam drank enough demon blood he would be so powerful that Sam could hold him down and jump into his cage but when Sam said yes Lucifer took hold of him. I found him at a cemetery in Lawrence with my half brother."

"Half brother?"

"That's a story for another time." She nodded. "He was being used by Michael the arch angel. The battle never happened but somehow Sam was able to grab Lucifer and jump into the hole. And now he's gone."

Dean put his head in his hands and began to shake from crying. Emily moved closer wrapping her arms around him. He sat up and held her. "I was supposed to protect him."

"It's not your fault Dean, none of this is."

Dean closed his eyes as tears fell freely down his face. Emily doesn't know how long she held him but she would hold him forever if she had to.

Dean finally lifted his head from her shoulder and wiped his face. "I just can't believe he's gone. I just want my baby brother back."

"I know." She caressed his cheek and gave him a small smile trying to comfort him the best she could.

"So you want to talk about the baby?"

"Right now? I mean we don't have to because…"

"We need a somewhat happier subject."

"Somewhat?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Who's the lucky daddy to be?"

She smirked tilting her head looking at him. "Are you stupid or something?"

The first time that night he laughed remembering that's what she said to him the first time they met when he asked her out.

"You're the father, Dean. I'm two months pregnant."

Dean looked at her shocked. If he was going to die he didn't want to leave her with that responsibility. That would be selfish of him.

"T-Two months? And it's mine?"

"Yes."

A small smile crept across his face and he went to touch her stomach but stopped. "Go ahead." She lifted her shirt up a little exposing the tiny belly. Dean's warm hand covered it and he continued to smile. "I did that."

"We did that buddy. Remember I was there."

"Vaguely remember."

"Then I guess I'll have to freshen your memory. But that can wait till tomorrow. Tonight we are sleeping." She stood up and grabbed his hand taking him to the upstairs bedroom.

The two laid there her chest to his back like usual except this time both their hands on her tummy. Dean knew he should be mourning his brother and in some way he is but he is also happy to be having a child especially with Emily. With every death comes a birth.

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**Authors Note: Thanks for all the reviews you guys! To let you know this story and Just Let It Burn are going to end with dean and sam meeting up with each other again. The characters coming together and then there will be a story with them all together :) hope you enjoy**


	3. Chapter 3

Emily woke up to see Dean missing. She sat up wondering if it was all a dream but then she heard a noise downstairs. She got out of bed and headed downstairs. She found him in the kitchen.

She leaned against the doorway watching him stare out the window of the door that led out to the side yard.

"Hey," she said softly making him turn around.

She could tell he barely slept. She knew he was tossing and turning all last night. She also heard him having nightmares and a few times felt him checking on her and the baby.

"You ok?" she asked walking up to him cautiously.

He looked around the kitchen, his hands in his jean pockets. "I, uh, really don't know how to answer that." He scratched the back of his head.

She nodded chewing on her bottom lip.

"It just occurred to me this morning when I woke up that I didn't have to run out of bed to go 500 miles to get to a town that needs me and for me to stay in another crappy hotel to eat some crappy diner food that was gonna make me sick." He touched her cheek rubbing his thumb across it.

"Most of all I won't be wondering about the next time I'll be seeing you or if I'm gonna turn on the TV and see you missing, hurt or worse. I can be here to protect you and our baby." Emily blinked the tears away.

"Dean I can't expect you to give up your hunting ways for me and the baby…"

"I'm doing it for a lot of reasons. You, the baby, me and Sam. I love you Em, I want to be with you."

"So you're staying…for good this time?"

Dean gave her a small smile. "Yeah, baby I am."

She smiled as she hugged him. He wrapped his strong arms around her.

"I'm gonna help you through this," Emily said, "Whatever you need to help you get through what you're going through."

Dean kissed the top of her head. This is what he needed. He needed someone to hold him down, keep him strong and going.

"How about I make breakfast?" he asked pulling away.

She arched an eyebrow with a small smile playing on her lips. "Sure just promise not to poison me and our baby."

"Hey," he said with a playful frown, "I'm not that bad."

She laughed and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, "I'm gonna get a shower."

He watched her walk off and he had a small bit of hope enter him. Maybe this will all work out after all.

"Don't look at me like that," said Emily looking at the small smirk playing on Dean's lips, "I'm feeding for two."

"Just admit it," he got up from the table walking over to the sink, "You love my pancakes."

"Maybe," she took the last bite and got up, "Or maybe I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Is that how it is?" He asked setting his hands on her waist and pulling her close to him.

She smiled up at him. "Yes that's how it is."

He chuckled as he leaned down and kissed her. He rested his head on hers and she looked into his eyes knowing he was still going through pain of losing his brother. "You ok?"

He smiled a little, "Ask me that in a couple days."

She grimaced and ran the back of her hand against his cheek, "We'll get through this."

He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it thankful for her. "I know baby. I know."

With her hand still in his they walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, "I want to show you something."

She walked to the first door on the right and opened it up. They stepped in and Dean looked around the room. It was the baby's room. It was white and he saw a couple buckets of blue and pink set aside for when they knew about the baby. There was a rocking chair by the window, a book shelf with a couple baby books already placed in it, a dresser, a closet, a few baby toys and a changing table. The only thing that was missing was the crib.

Looking in this room realization hit him…He's going to be a father. Could he be a father? Is he cut out for being a dad? Will he be good enough?"

"Dean…" Emily looked at him concerned.

He turned around and she saw his eyes glossing over. "It finally hit me I guess. Looking around this room at our babies stuff, we're going to have a family. I'm going to be a father. I don't know first thing about being a father. What if I screw up?"

"You think I know how to be a mother?" she asked laughing a bit. "I almost had to play two parts in this child's life because I thought you were gone. I was going to have to play mommy and daddy." She leaned against the wall. "I'm just as new to this as you are." She placed her hand on her stomach looking down at it. "But I do know one thing," she looked up at Dean, "we're going to give this child the best life they can have. You're going to be number one dad and I'm going to be soccer mom."

She smiled at him trying to get him to smile and it worked. She walked over to him and took his hands in hers. She looked up at him, "You're finally going to get the family you always wanted Dean, it's long past overdue."

He laughed a little as he caressed her cheek with his hand and ran his hand through her hair. He kissed her and she kissed him back cupping the back of his neck.

The only things that could keep Dean going right now are Emily and their baby. If he kept thinking of them then Sam's death and torturing soul wouldn't come into his mind.

They broke the kiss and she bit her bottom lip lightly, "I was thinking about names for the baby."

His hands rested on her lower back and he looked down at her, "Oh yeah?"

She nodded, "Just let me know if they're ok. If it's a girl I was thinking Samantha and boy Samuel so you can have some part of Sam with you."

Dean gave her a soft smile, "I love it, thank you."

She smiled up at him, "Samuel Dean…and of course the baby will have your last name, so Samuel Dean Winchester. Has a catchy tune don't ya think?"

He grinned, "Yeah it does."

And that's when he realized Emily didn't have his last name.

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Dean came inside after taking out the trash and found Emily still eating the box of cookies, "Hey Em…" He stopped and looked at her with his arms crossed.

"What?"

"Step away from the cookies."

She frowned but then grabbed one more and ran. "Emily!" He chased after her through the kitchen and up the stairs to their bedroom. He could hear her laughter through the hallway. "Emily drop the cookie!"

She went to put it in her mouth when he grabbed it. "Dean…" she whined, "It's not like I ate the whole box!"

"Emily I was outside for a good twenty minutes."

She gave him a look. "Why were you taking the trash out for twenty minutes?"

"I met our neighbor Henry, he asked me to go out with him and a couple of the guys in the neighborhood for drinks on Friday night."

She smiled at him. "You going?"

"Uh, I don't know. I told him maybe. I mean I still have to find a job and I'm not comfortable leaving you by yourself."

"Dean…I've been by myself for a very long time. One night isn't going to kill me."

"It may kill me."

She laughed and broke the cookie in half giving him the other one, "Go. Have fun."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll probably fall asleep on the couch eating ice cream and watching Adam Sandler movies." She grinned at him as he gave her a look rolling his eyes.

"You and Adam Sandler."

"The love of my life." She teased and kissed his lips, "But you'll always be number one in my heart." She kissed his lips again and smiled at him.

Dean took her hand in his and looked into her eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too."

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**Authors Note:** _Ok…not much but this story needed to be updated. I'm going through most of my stories and updating or deleting them because I seriously have no clue what I was trying to write with some of them. Writer block sucks…ok so here's this update. Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will be Dean's first visit to the doctor let's see how that goes lol._


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